As of today, Max has been "outside" as long as he was "inside." It's crazy to think that he has been here for that long. The pregnancy seemed to go by so fast, the whole 41 weeks and 5 days of it. But these last 41 weeks and 5 days have gone even faster.
Life is so different now. That's what happens when you have a child I guess, just like everyone always says. Life is so much richer now. So much more important.
I can still remember the excitement. The nervous feeling in my belly. The fear of the unknown. The morning that he came, all of these feelings were going through my head. But the surgery went very well, and he was a perfect little boy.
My pregnancy had gone so easily that I was always waiting for something bad to happen. For a bad test result. For my back to give out on me. For anything to go wrong. Things just don't go smoothly for me in life, so I was always just waiting for the inevitable.
I cried and cried when we were leaving the hospital with Max. Not because I was afraid. Not because I was sad. Not because I felt lost. None of these things. I cried because I was so happy that we really had a healthy baby. Nothing had gone wrong. He was perfect and we made it through the hard part. Tears of joy are the hardest to stop, and I had so much trouble pulling myself together.
I loved that little baby so much more than I could have imagined. I love him more and more each day.
41w5d. What a milestone.